When it comes to wedding planning, the bride usually has very firm opinions on how to handle the wedding, and the groom is more than happy to defer those decisions to his fiancée, step out of the way, and help when needed. But that’s not always the case. There have always been situations where both the prospective bride and groom have firm opinions on how the wedding should be handled — and they don’t see eye to eye on those details.
It’s a classic conundrum. If you and your significant other are finding it difficult to agree on matters large and small when it comes to your wedding, the good news is you’re not alone. In fact, there are certain issues that couples have tended to disagree with and squabble over for decades; this is more common than you’d think.
The even better news is if you approach these disagreements in the right way, this can be ideal training for how to compromise in many of the everyday challenges you’ll face as a married couple. Let’s look at some tips on how to handle wedding-related arguments with your fiancé.
What Do Couples Often Argue About When Planning Their Wedding?
If you and your fiancé are having arguments while planning your wedding, you might think they’re unique. Most likely, they’re not. Certain areas have tended to reinforce the notion that “opposites attract” — and that with opposite opinions, there can be disagreements, even fierce ones. Here are some common areas where couples have frequently found themselves feuding.
When planning a wedding, the couple is trying to mold their own vision and set of values; but, there can be plenty of tensions when it comes to money.
The bride may want a more elaborate wedding, while the groom may think a smaller, more intimate — and less expensive — wedding is a better option. Money has been known to cause friction between married couples, so why not engaged couples as well?
Friends and Roles
As sticky as money arguments can get, the same is true for selecting the people to play key roles in the ceremony. Choosing bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, and even the flower girl can get challenging if both the bride and groom have firm ideas on who they definitely want to be included.
The Guest List
Similar to the money issue, the guest list can get complicated if the bride wants a large wedding party made up of everyone in her family, all her friends, and all her co-workers, and the groom wants a smaller gathering — or vice versa. Trying to create a list that comes somewhere in the middle is no easier, especially when it gets down to who they need to eliminate.
How Can Couples Settle Disagreements Over Their Wedding?
Just as plenty of couples have argued and fought over these and other issues, they’ve also learned how to work things out amicably.
Agree on Finances First
A great task for couples at the very beginning of the wedding planning process is to settle on a budget. This is an ideal opportunity for couples to sit down and review their finances and come to an agreement on what they can afford. If they do that first, chances are they’re less likely to be disagreeing about money issues further down the road.
Talk About Your Expectations
It’s important for the couple to discuss upfront what their expectations are for the wedding. Even better, discuss the roles you both expect to play. Maybe one of you wants to be in charge of scheduling the music, while the other is more interested in drawing up the menu. Maybe one cares more about the decorations at the venue, and the other is more interested in the venue itself. Knowing this is advance can put you both in a position to help plan the wedding in very positive ways.
Know When to Compromise
There will be areas where the bride and groom are on polar opposite sides — and that’s when the art of compromising becomes a skill you’ll learn to cultivate and value over time. Figure out which elements of the wedding don’t mean as much to you as to your fiance, and be willing to give on that one — and, in return, see what he’s willing to give up as well. Cooperation is the key here.
Planning a wedding is a way for both the bride and groom to hone their communication skills — and to learn that fighting doesn’t solve anything. So if you have been arguing, stop the fighting and start listening.
Stunning Central Jersey Wedding Venue at Windows on the Water
At Windows on the Water, our professional wedding planners have years of experience helping brides plan every detail to bring their vision of a dream wedding to life. Our professional planners go above and beyond to create the wedding day that you’ve always envisioned.